In this lil' mind of mine.

most men are cruel

Thursday, April 22, 20107:59 PM

A friend of mine came over the other day, she laid a whole load of ‘sometimes I wonder’ statements.
puzzled, I looked at her hoping for an answer.
she just looked me in the eye and told me
“tell me what you have to say after I tell you this”
and she went on saying….

“sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with the world.
sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with the society.
sometimes I wonder why people don’t understand each other.
sometimes I wonder why people hurt one another.
sometimes I wonder why people make use of those who love them.
sometimes I wonder…….those who are used, then left alone, what joy is it in for them?

how ironic to know that the person I care for so much is actually the person who cares the least about me. the very person whom I’m so proud of is actually the person who despises me the most.
the person whom I love is the person who hates me the most. And what really breaks my heart is I did not know the malice that’s running in the person’s head, the cruel intentions augmenting within his heart. And Lo and Behold, this innocent soul, robbed of her integrity has been left victimized by the person she treasures the most.

though fate be called just, could I, that victimized person keep quiet and succumb to its will?
nay --- I wouldn’t. I couldn’t let fate toy with my emotions without an explanation.
an explanation to why I have to go through this period of torment for not my wrong doing, but the doing of others, of his.
but much to my dismay, fate closes its doors without an answer.
as though to say that it was MY fault to be who I am.

how ironic, I’d say.
To hear him tell me that I’m beautiful the way I am. That I shouldn’t change, ever. I honestly believed that I really am worth it. what a lie. what a lie. I didn’t need the sympathy so why did he lie to me?! Was he compelled to?! I‘ve come to realization, in reality, everyone judges by appearance. not even a saint would dare say he doesn’t. no one looks at the heart anymore. no one. even if it were the only thing a person would have.”

she sat on my bed, rubbing her absurdly swollen eyes.
she turned to me and repeated her question.
“tell me what you have to say after I told you this”

after listening to my friend relate her past, I saw a flashback before my eyes.
I grimaced at her question.
“Pffftt..,” I snorted.
what else could I say? I told her what I keep telling myself since that day.

“most men are cruel and that is just how they are."

JoleneeeSam

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